it's been awhile! why yes it has been awhile.

things for me has been going up and down.
1. arab chick gone
2. still thinking about jac
3. valentines is coming
4. my birthday is coming
5. im going to bangkok this weekend
6. i think i might fail my exams this term
7. working part time at starbucks ikano
8. next training to bakerzin

so thats about it. i was going through old pictures on my comp ... this year, last year, last last year, the year before that. all of it is so fucking sad. i'm lost again. i just dont know where to go.

my circle of friends has expended ... really expended. all i need to do now is speak good mandarin and cantonese and im good to go! :P

sometimes i just wished she didnt do it. if she didnt, then how would everything be? i wouldnt know, but questioning the past is stupid. i just wanted her and whatever that came along with her. i keep telling myself, of all the things ive done for her, of all things, i'm stuck the way i'm today. sometimes i just want to burst into tears but afraid someone might be hiding behind the door listening, waiting for me to screw up. yes, i still love you. yes, i still miss you. im sorry what you had to go through.
maybe thats the whole reason why......

it sucks coming home everyday to an empty bed only to be hugging the pillow oh so tightly whilst thinking about you.
no more hugs ...
no more goodnight kisses............
i miss you so fucking badly.
rick.